To The Woman Who Gossips (and doesn’t see the harm)

I’ve seen women become their words. The secret words that they share, feeling empowered in their emotions or their resolute decisions.  If someone is on their side or will listen to them, then their decision feels so right.

When it is so wrong.

I’ve seen sweet-hearted women become like those they befriend, listening and communing over another persons weaknesses or a conflict they don’t know how to handle. And the bond of friendship is a thin veneer of fake words.  Filling their ego tanks to the rim with idle chatter.

I have seen it destroy lives.


Some mornings I wake up thinking about that young woman I watched last month, as she acted so out of her character, hurting another person and not even realizing it.  I thought about it for days, when I finally realized that she has a new set of friends.  And those friends – well, they are known to be complainers, women who gossip.

I want to whisper loving words of encouragement to her. To tell her to run from negativity and close her ears to idle chatter, taking every thought captive.

Real friendships do not allow gossip.

It will be her some day.  The one on the other side of the fence, being spoken about.

Learn to recognize it and plead to the Lord to rescue you from hurting another person.

Perhaps if women recognize it for what it really is?

Not making excuses to feel justified in bringing up someone else’s name in conversations or finding a common annoyance about something that should be handled differently.

Gossip casts a net of negativity that shrouds a persons character unknowingly.

When women talk about one another, even in the guise of concern, they unknowingly take on an offense or an annoyance towards another person. It controls her reactions, thoughts and demeanor towards that person or circumstances.

Gossips changes who we are and how we act. And it can destroy another persons testimony.

Women need women that love good words.  That love one another and the goodness deep within them to say no to gossip.

No, to words that do not edify.

No, to idle chatter with a complaining spirit.

No, to conversations that are not healing, with a purpose in prayer and supplication.

No, to complaining to one another.

Women can forge friendships that build a generation of truth and noble words.

It is hard work to build godly friendships.  Women need to fortify one another with edification, love and support.

Let’s pray together that we do not become numb to this pattern of division in our own lives and the lives of others.

And friend, if you are raising daughters.…they are watching you, listening to you. Lead them by example and have the hard truth talks with them.


If you hear them talking in a manner that is unfit before the Lord or you hear them talking about another person, it is time to share your heart and your wisdom with them.

Challenge them, encourage them and lead them to be wise with their words, with their judgements and with their assumptions about another person.


The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. ~ Luke 6:45


“Choose your friends carefully, but choose your words more wisely.”



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