This was the subject I have been avoiding for a long time now. Writing here the words that lurk behind almost every FB mom status, picture, post and idealism we see.
Mom’s want to know. Am I the only one that has raised my voice to her children, lost my ability to think like an adult, or felt like I was losing it over the smallest irritation?
Do my kids think I am the crazy, lunatic, yeller mom?
Those days when you might as well have slapped a sticky note to your forehead, ” Irrational and Unpredictable.” My kids would have been happy to see this coming some days. There is an unpredictability to our moments of stress management, exhaustion and “pushed to the limit questions and arguing,” that brings an inner-ugly self to the forefront of our behavior.
It is ok if you are not, nor have, ever been this woman. I would love to meet you. And so would a million women around the world, that has finally decided to say the truth for what it is.
Moms have been known to yell. I am not condoning this. Rather, it is time to talk about it.
There have a been a few occasions that I have been in town (civilization,) and my children and I have witnessed the “yeller mom,” to the next level. It halts us in our steps, the entire store is trying their best to not stare and my heart is breaking into a million broken pieces for the children that this mama is taking all of her anger and meanness. My anger turns to pity, and I usher my children away from the scenes as quickly as we can move our feet. Like concrete they are.
It is not harsh cruelty or mean-spirited demands that I am talking about here today.
Not the time, or the selflessness, or the work, but the person they turn into when the demands are great, and they are pushed by the littlest triggers.
“I barely recognize myself.” Or, ” Where does that come from? I don’t want to be THAT mom.” “My mom was a yeller, so that is all I am use to.”
And it doesn’t take much. Frustration over school work, a teenager that pushes and pulls until there is no stretching left, a messy bedroom day after day.
Or the real lung pressures release when you think you are the only person in the entire house that is able to refill the toilet paper. Or the scissors and the curls? Perhaps for you, it might be the whining or the bedtime routine? When you are tired and feel like one more question might tip you into a frenzy.
Yes. Those things. And more.
And the escalade might be slow and tempered. It might be immediate. But, either way. I call it the “ugly head of yelling,” that bears itself to your children’s ears, their eyes and right in the very middle of your grand and unprepared speech…
You see their eyes. Shock, surprise, defeat, sadness, defiance or worse – fear? Who is this woman that I just hugged and felt loved by. What happened to “my mother?”
Our children know us better than the other mom’s reading a FB status, or see us in the grocery store.
I know I am not going out on a limb, and dangling there on my own. You can hang out here with me. If you dare. If you dare to face it.
There, I said it.
So, I have been asked to share my story of falling, overcoming and hope – tomorrow.
Would you join me and share this revolution to let our words be the light. #youarenotalone #overcomeyelling
Let the revolution begin – Would you click to share this post on facebook or twitter? Or perhaps share it with a fellow, struggling mama? Thank you so much!