A Soft Answer Turns Away Wrath… But…

Do your Children Fight and Argue – Part 2 

Words – They have the power to claim the moment. Your children are learning this.   They listen. They learn. They repeat.

Sit for a minute with me today – and really ponder the example your children have in their communication skills.

Let’s be honest.

Children have a will of their own, and their words to their siblings are going to reflect what is going on INSIDE their heart.

Don’t be so surprised when they act out what hasn’t been changed on the inside.

Let’s Make Progress!

1.)Make a diligent effort every day for one week to focus on YOUR words and tone with your whole family. This includes your spouse.

2.)Listen to Your Children communicate. Are they speaking from anger, frustration, selfishness, or just plain childishness .

3.)Address the arguments IMMEDIETELY. Calmly. And without condemnation.

4.) ASK your children to sit separately until every one is able to communicate about the situation. This is the time to ASK questions.

5.)Be prepared. Each child will have their own reason, story, and exclamation for their part in the argument.

…This is where you CALMLY remind them that there is never a reason good enough, or worthy of treating others in this manner.

(Their reasons may seem valid – but they were all wrong – in the way they handled their dispute.)

6.)Get to the Conscience. This is a HUGE proponent in keeping the next argument from happening.

I ask my children – “Do you know what your conscience is?”

“When you were saying those mean and angry words to your brother or sister, was there any thing in your heart and mind that told you to stop. Or that was telling you that your words weren’t very nice?”

This is your conscience.

We then go from there – on learning to LISTEN to our conscience. Learning to create a healthy conscience comes from filling their hearts and minds with what is right, good, and perfect to the Lord.

Do you make INTENTIONAL time every day to fill their hearts, souls and minds with tools to create a healthy conscience?

Our Words – The impact of our tongue will mold our relationships.  Create a new environment of soft words in your home.

Step #1 – Creating a Healthy Conscience in our children & Teaching them to control their words.

Input = Output.


Share with me friends.  Is this something that you have tried before?  It can be progress for the weary mom – who listens to arguing, complaining and fighting all day long.

Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

If you missed Part 1 of this Series – You can find it here… They Fight Like Cats and Dogs.  Does this hit home with you?

Can I pray for you? 



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  • Reply
    Jenilee Goodwin
    June 21, 2012 at 7:02 pm

    Loved this post, September! those six things are great goals for everyday!

    • Reply
      June 22, 2012 at 10:30 am

      I think it is time for Ohio, PA and NY bloggers to get together Mrs. Goodwin! Don’t you agree? Summer is here! Glad you popped in! ((hugs))

  • Reply
    June 21, 2012 at 7:35 pm

    So good! Love the practical steps!

  • Reply
    June 21, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    I have 5 childeren 9 being the oldest – somedays its like the fighting is non stop . Thank- you for this post

  • Reply
    Victoria Huizinga
    June 22, 2012 at 7:19 am

    These are some great tips. I have got to admit I have never explained the conscience to my children, but after reading this I think I just might look for opportunities to help them learn how to create a healthy conscience.

    • Reply
      June 22, 2012 at 10:29 am

      Victoria – I am grateful for your comment. I think that the conscience is an overlooked lesson to be taught. I did that for a time with my children also.
      Blessings to you as you work on creating a peacful atmosphere in your home.

  • Reply
    June 22, 2012 at 8:55 am

    This post really hits home for me.  This i something my 5 year old and I are struggling against each other with.  Every time I hear him talk back or talk rudely to me, lately instead of being immediately disappointed and angry, I’m forced to think, “Well, where did he hear that?”  From me.  I am working on my own actions and reactions toward my family, as you suggested.  I’m see clearly that the Mom/Wife plays the most important role in the family dynamic and can really set the tone for each member.  But I’m struggling to do it the right way most days.  This is my first time reading your blog, and I so appreciate the advice that you’ve offered.  

    • Reply
      June 22, 2012 at 10:27 am

      I am blessed that you stopped by your comment. We are all learning together.. so take heart – it is a process. I will be praying for you,, being a mom is such a blessing, and a lot of work. (hugs)

  • Reply
    June 22, 2012 at 10:47 am

    Wow. This is exactly what I needed. I actually have that verse up on our kitchen/living room wall to help me, but I have been bewildered on how to help myself and my kids. I often feel like that weary mom you mentioned, so I am very excited to start working on my responses and help them work through theirs. THANK YOU!

  • Reply
    June 25, 2012 at 4:38 am

    Thanks September…This was such good food for thought!  Proverbs 15:1 is a good thing to practice with everyone…even our husbands and other family members and friends.  When I use soft words and kindness it is returned to me…and when I don’t…well then I have set the tone…and things go down hill from there.


    • Reply
      June 25, 2012 at 10:02 am

      This was my own greatest challenge as a wife and mother… my words and tone.  I always appreciate your sensitivity to God’s Word Linda.  Thank you my friend. 

  • Reply
    June 25, 2012 at 9:20 am

    This is one of my biggest fears. My brother and I have no relationship, apart from our parents and interactions for/through them. He has cast us as far aside as he can.

    I’m constantly thinking about my own children and how I don’t want them to have that kind of relationship. I want them to have the awesome kind of sibling relationship that I know is possible.

    Thank you for these posts.

    • Reply
      June 25, 2012 at 10:01 am

      Hi Jess,   I know what you are saying.  This is an all too-common scenario.  Sadly.
      You can make the change in your children’s lives now though – that is the great hope! So happy we were able to meet!  Blessings my friend!

  • Reply
    Give Bad Behavior A “Name,” When Your Children Argue
    June 25, 2012 at 11:01 am

    […] you been following along in this Series of My Children Fight Like Cats and Dogs?  Here you can find Part 1 and Part 2 […]

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