Three children washed and in their jammies, and three on the way to the shower. Nursing the baby and rocking the toddler would fall on the heels of supervising the kitchen clean up and my husband is still framing the walls of a clients home. Board by board and nail by nail. Muscle, time and diligence. Ironic. I wonder if their family is all together tonight?
There were so many days that working late was a necessity, but this was not one of them. Distance seemed to equal peace.
How did we get this close – to be so far away?
The first time I met my man, he shook my hand with a firm, strong handshake. Hardworking, sun- bronzed skin and a twinkle of mischief played in his eyes. The evenings of walking hand in hand, his thumb smoothing the back of my fingers, and the deep conversations about our faith were never interrupted or lost on time. My guy always made me smile. Even more so, when I could see the light of life in his eyes. I thrived off of his contagious ability to let life roll off of his shoulders. I needed that.
And now the bath water is drained, the counters are wiped clean, and the baby has been fed and settled in her sleep. The house is beginning to hear itself breathe and the rumble of the work truck makes its way to home – on its own. The driver has lost his vision for what is next and the twinkle has disappeared. Life has brought great loss, and the love of his life is changing before his very eyes. Could he make her smile again?
Are we falling out of love
Or have we just lost our way?
The effort to embrace after a long day comes with great sacrifice of our pride. The moment would have been lost if I hadn’t longed for this comfort and his strong presence to just – hold me. Nothing else. Could he feel that my heart was finding its beat again when he was near, and that I was waiting to see the twinkle? Did he know that I was blaming myself for the sparkle of reaction and love to be absent? How could he? We were caverns apart in time, thoughts and togetherness.
Would we ever be able to find what was lost?
The children were in bed, the house was resting in soft-lit peace and our hearts were beginning to find their way back home. But, oh -it is such a long road that emotion cannot fix. It was our emotions, our lack of focus, trials and loss that had brought us to see the reality we would need a total reliance on God to keep our love alive.
I pulled the covers up to my chin and let the four-poster bed be my focus. I wanted to fall in love with my man – all over again. Did he feel the same way? Would we ever find our way back?
This girl has fallen in love with her man – all over again.
Monday – I share the path of healing, restoration and how the twinkle in my man’s eye’s has returned!
Keep the flame lit – even if it seems dim right now. Grace, hope and redemption will no let it go out!