In Sickness And In Health

The face that I always see when I look up from any infirmity is the tawny, sun-bronzed face, with deep hazel eyes looking back with love and concern.  My builder man has carried me into hospitals and out over the years, and is always there holding my hand and making me laugh and smile through the thick of it.

This day was no different.  It was a mental battle to hear that other’s might think of you as “sickly,” or “doing too much.”  It brings words and whispers to my confidant nature, from the recesses of my heart :

 “I don’t want to be judged.  Why is this the valley for me?

 Every single time.”

why do we always ask why.  we do not need to know this.  the real question is :

Why Not?

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His nature is calm, assuring and his quiet smile brings this to his lips…

“You are Pre-Approved.  We all have valleys to walk through.  Everyone is called to something else. We are walking through this together and God has all of it in His hands.  That’s all that matters.”

While alone at home, in the midst of the flurry of activity, school, the girls preparing dinner and braiding long, wet curls from the little one’s baths – I weep for the man that has filled our cupboards with groceries, working all day with his hands, fielding calls from the children, and holding down the fort I send him a text :

“I am so sorry.”

Why are you sorry?

“That this burden is placed on you again, and you have to  work so hard and juggle so much right now.”

“Don’t feel bad.  I was made for such a time as this.”

He works in the sun, in the cold, with his hands and his mind to bring provision to our home.  He teaches our children the value of a work ethic and encourages them to step in during this season.

This quiet man has taught us ~

The builder is always there for me. Always present.

I pick saw-dust out of his hair at the last Dr. visit.  His arms are bronzed and glistening with sweat, while the other men in the waiting room are dressed for a day out.  He leaves his work to be by my side, hold my hand while we wait through test after test.

I know the drill.  This is my valley.  It always has been. And the man with the sand-paper hands, and muscles I cling to when he holds me while I fight fear, are always there.  Always.

In sickness and health.

May I encourage you as I continue to share this valley journey, that although you may feel alone, discouraged, or have no one to turn your face into their broad arms and give a good cry…He can restore your soul.

When my builder had to be home to care for our children and I was alone, the tears that soak my pillow were for the Lord to wipe away.  He was there in the fields of fear and sent others to calm my nerves.

If you feel judged for your valleys, fear not what man may think.

The valleys are deep enough, that we do not need to carve out room for the “opinions.”

Rather, let the balm of Gilead flood your soul and lift you out and up the mountain top of hope.  You will be able to see much better with a view like that.  All of the dust, shadows and opinions from the valley clear away when you are closer to the SON.

In sickness and health, He is cupping you in His hands.  That is your valley.  Let the Healer hold you today.

 

September

Comments

  1. You are extremely blessed to have this caring many by your side. Saying a prayer for you today.

  2. Barbara says:

    It seems we do all have different battles that continue to plague us over and over again. I certainly have mine. I have always wanted to settle in one place, have a home where my children can grow up that will always be familiar… a tree house, a garden, a collection of memories all in one place. But, the Lord chose a different path for me. One I never would have chosen and still don’t understand. Now that my children are almost all grown, I realize I will never have the things I’ve always dreamed of for them. It is too late. But, I have to remind myself often that HE knows the path that is best for them. The way that will shape them into the women they need to be for the journey He has planned for them. I have to fight the feelings of guilt and sometimes embarrassment that seem to follow me everywhere I go. Questions from family and friends about our many moves, etc. Having to readjust to a new home, neighbors, church and when I allow them in..friends. I realized, like you, I worry way too much what others think. When I consider how difficult my trials would be if I had absolutely no pride….I see them in a whole new light. Yes, it is hard. Yes, I will still cry and miss friends left behind. And each time it is harder to let new friends in. But, the pain is far less intense when I stop worrying so much about how it looks to others, and try to see it through the eyes of my all wise, all knowing Father who wants the best for all of us…regardless of how it looks to the rest of the world (and me).
    I’m praying for your recovery, and am so thankful to have crossed paths with you no matter how briefly.

    • Barbara ~ I must say that I have missed visiting with you here locally, but this space has been wonderful to keep in touch. I think of you often. When we let go of others approval, there is so much freedom. Miss you. Love you!

  3. Beautiful friend. Just beautiful how God is our God who is WITH us, weaving His perfect plan through it all. Love you so. xo

  4. So much love for you friend. Rest now. He has you.

    -prayers,
    Stacey

  5. Only in our trials can we truly see the face of God. Rest in the arms of God and rest in the arms of the man God as called to be with you for better or for worst. Thank God for him and ask God to strengthen him when he becomes weak–he is only human.

    Praying for you and peace to you.

  6. Gregory Huey says:

    Very touching story. I’m battle with my liver disease and will never give up hope. You hang in there and you will be in my thoughts and prayers. God bless you and all.

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