You Should Never Have To Do Motherhood Alone

Two years ago, I sat on the edge of the local pool in the heat of the summer and had a conversation with another mother that transformed my life. She asked me why I was not attending the local mom group events. Little did she know that the answer to this question had long been a source of sadness in me. And it was something I had never told anyone.

 

I had never been invited.

 

Yet I am what seems like a perfect candidate for a mom’s group. I have ten children, ages 24 to 5, and even though I have adult children I am still in the thick of raising little ones. There is no doubt that I am a mom. But the events were by invitation only and I couldn’t quite figure out how to insert my desire to be a “part of the group” without forcing myself upon a lot of younger moms. Don’t we all need to be filled up so we can be poured out?

The craziest thing was that she didn’t seem too surprised that I had not been invited. This was obviously a topic that had come up before. I sat quietly waiting for her response. “September, I am not surprised about this. You intimidate other women.”

 

And that was it.

 

Silence. Awkward silence. I wonder now how long I stood there with my mouth wide open and my heart raw and flaming in embarrassment. I never thought of myself as intimidating. I was stunned.

 

And then it began: the shaky, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that seemed to be blocking any clear thought or audible response. After a long pause, I told her how sorry I was to hear this. And then I remembered what God had called me to speak into other women’s lives.

 

 

I told her it was my prayer and desire that those women would take the time to get to know me. Really get to know me.

I share this story for one reason. Her words were the most truthful words spoken to me in a long time. My life is so very overwhelmingly full. It’s even intimidating to me as I live it—some days I barely get by without locking myself in the van. I often end up talking out loud to the Lord to gain some perspective. I am the one intimidated by mothering to the masses. She was right.

 

This motherhood role can be overwhelming and sometimes so lonely. But because of a lack of communication and understanding, the women were intimidated by me rather than overwhelmed for me and with me. It took a while for me to realize that it required great honesty and bravery for this woman to speak those words to me. I am grateful to her.

 

I have used this as a reminder to stop and not be intimidated by my own life when I am in those moments of overwhelming motherhood. It helps me understand that every time I take on the full responsibility of raising my children well, I am taking the credit for what God has done, is doing, and will do.

 

Taken from {Why} Motherhood Matters. Copyright © 2017 by September McCarthy. Published by Harvest House Publishers, Eugene, OR. Used by permission.

 

Do you let comparison or intimidation keep you from getting close to other women? Do you feel isolated? Perhaps you are afraid of letting others into your spaces?

May I encourage you to be brave today and let someone in or reach out to another mom who may be waving the white flag of loneliness.

Order your copy of {Why} Motherhood Matters today and receive a FREE Taking the Steps Journal + Truth to Live By verse cards. Learn more at whymotherhoodmatters.com

 

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1 Comment

  • Reply
    Caryn Christensen
    August 9, 2017 at 11:17 am

    Oh golly! I sure feel your pain September ~ what a difficult thing to hear.
    Both my husband and I felt segregated when our daughter chose to wander from Christianity. The church, the place we should’ve felt the safest and most embraced, became like a desert to us.
    The Lord was so very good to us though, and He raised up prayer warriors on our (her) behalf to help see us through. This is one topic I’m so very passionate about because I believe a lot of parents are “going it alone.” I pray God uses your love, your unwavering trust in Him and your story to bring families together. <3

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